Say it ain't so...Joe?
Joe Biden is the weakest presidential candidate in recent memory...yet he still might get elected - and that is freaking hysterical.
By Skip Pulley
The US Democratic party has officially become the world's most unfunny joke. From their open and obvious betrayal of young, progressive Representatives in their own party to their determined and deliberate dismantling of Bernie Sanders...twice...to their mastery of the not-so-subtle art of self-destruction, Democrats have become tantamount to ball-gag wearing gimps encased in a foot locker made of arrogance and false platitudes; who by the way, clearly did not learn the obvious lesson of nominating an un-electable, corrupt hot mess whose margin of defeat was less than the number of people who stayed home rather than betray their own consciousness by supporting her. (That's right. She was such a bitter pill that people actually held the door open for an illiterate, racist, orange fink; who although hilarious, has now become entirely comfortable with being a neo-nazi in the eyes of posterity.) Lest some of you may feel that this is an unwarranted attack on the "left", let me qualify the true purpose of the democratic party and liberals in a general sense. In summary, the democratic party was never designed to represent the left wing or recognizable leftism in regards to the modern political process. It is designed to be a softer, more gentle, more palatable, more intellectual version of right-wing conservatism. It's purpose is to smooth the jagged edges of binary, staunch republican neo-hypocrisy. That's why true leftists despise the fake social justice equivocation of liberalism, even more so than the insipidity of fake moderates and the dimwitted rationale of right wing ideology. Democrats are in their own way, granted, but they are also in ours. Having to go through them to get to fascists is like swimming through pudding. Democratic "leaders" are disguised by thought-terminating cliches of equality, sustainability and social change which in reality are nothing more than perpetuation of the status quo. Their advocates mindlessly mirror a seemingly endless supply of corporate-controlled internet media and do their best to sell everyone a wolf ticket comprised of half-baked talking points about supposedly fighting hypercapitalism while somehow simultaneously leaning on it for support. But enough about that. Let's talk about this old senile weirdo whom everyone seems to love all the sudden.
Here are a few examples of his sheer ridiculousness:
1975 - He said school busing integration would ruin black identity
1987 - He plagiarized part of a speech by Bob Kennedy. He claimed it was a mistake
1988 - He plagiarized an entire speech by a British Labor Party Leader, then moths later after getting treatment for 2 BRAIN ANEURYSMS he blamed the plagiarism on that
2008 - He asked a paraplegic man to stand up
2008 - He said president Frank Roosevelt went on TV in 1929 and talked about the stock market crash...except Herbert Hoover was president at the time and television hadn't been invented yet.
2012 - He told a crowd of black voters that Romney was going to put them all back in chains
2020 - He said poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids
Here is a video montage of your fearless leader. While watching it, think of ways to square your support of his candidacy - as well as his very existence
Yet, even with all that, many people will unveil their back-country sh*t eating grins long enough to pretend that this guy is even halfway in control of his mental facilities and actually cast a vote for him.
My belief in the absurdity of US national politics has remained the same since I began writing professionally at age 18. Presidents are selected - not elected. There is always at least one wall st. backed candidate and one military industrial complex backed candidate and sometimes the same candidate is backed by both. As if the 2-party system were not enough of a slap in the face to well-meaning ideologues, the electoral college is nothing more than a public reflection of the corporatocracy.
No matter how this debacle winds up, it's going to be hilarious. I predict the debates will be epic.
I've said it before and I will say it again, you're all getting what you deserve. Enjoy!