The Infamous, Dreaded Balloon Attack of 2023
*Warning* The next wave of invasion may include cake
by Skip Pulley
You can't imagine how hard the Chinese people laughed when they saw on TV that people in the US thought they were being attacked by a F*cking balloon. Someone recently asked me if there was ever even such a thing as a "spy balloon". I said "Of course there was......in F*cking 1864!" The Army of the Potomac used one to whoop them rebs.
The bottom line: If your goal is to "spy" on someone, would your vehicle of choice be a 100-foot in diameter bright-white sphere that almost anyone can see with the naked eye? (look up the word conspicuous) Which also, coincidentally, has no guidance system, and was admittedly watched from the moment of takeoff by the air force, being caught in a jet stream - and was then allowed to float across the entire country because they obviously didn't think it was a threat.
Do you honestly think that China, a nation of almost a billion people, with endless satellites and technology, would need to "invade" another country with a f*cking balloon?
Hi! There is no way to steer a balloon. So how the hell would it make an effective tool of espionage?
It would only gather information incidentally, according to wind currents and pressure systems.
It probably floated here along with a cold front or low pressure system or something. Use your brain. It would make more sense to say we were invaded by the freaking goodyear blimp. At least someone can steer that one, and maybe drop rocks out of the window.
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Believe whatever you want, I'm not mad at you, so don't get mad at me for pointing out mass psychosis.